snow snow snow

fuck snow is so depressive. when i was little i thought it was really cool because it got me out of school. now it's just awful. it's just cold & wet & irksome..

i hate my headache. i hate that i can't write. or concentrate on anything today.

i'm not sure why i have this blog. i should just write on wordpad or something seeing as i have zero followers and i want zero followers.

(i thought i saw a plane crash tonight. i hear these noises, like a really really obnoxiously loud motor, so i looked out my window onto the street & saw nothing. i looked into the sky & i saw a plane flying - what looked like - too low. i was sure it was slowly descending from the sky into the distance & i don't live close to an airport at all. i was panicked. i didn't know if i should go downstairs & ring the police or something. i didn't know what to do but watch it slowly move further away & closer to the ground. i waited with bated breath for a crash that i prayed against. nothing happened. there's nothing about it online, so i guess it was just me being paranoid. yet again.

i always stare out my window. when i was little i picked the furthest away house & i always used to write stories about getting there. or living there. how adjacent my life would be if i lived there... how perfect it'd be. it sounds crazy, but i tried to look for it last year, & i couldn't see it. it's like it vanished. maybe it was never there. maybe i made it up. like 99% of my childhood memories.

i hate looking at the sky. it makes me feel like there's a blue blanket over all of our heads & i just freak out, because i haven't believed for so long that any of this is real. this 'life'. it's just a figment of my imagination. you're just a figment of my imagination. the stigmantization of 'i' is just a part of my imagination... i just feel like the sky IS limited, like everything has an end. everything's a circle. nothing exists without an opposite...

i want a circle tattooed on my wrist.)